SHE NEVER LOVED ME ENOUGH

I was attending a morning networking meeting and one thing the organizer does to help us break the ice and get to know each other is to pose a question at each meeting.

This particular morning the question was “Who has been the biggest influence on your life?”

There was not much time to think before it was my turn to answer - Instantly my mother came to mind. Which surprised me at first.

I shared - "My mom. Because she didn't love me enough."

As these words spontaneously came I was realizing the beautiful truth of it.

Growing up, I was starved for her love, her attention, her warmth, and her validation.
I wanted it so bad.

And I never got it.

Thankfully.

Thankfully I never got it and thankfully She never gave it to me.

Thankfully, because the pain of not getting it forced me to learn how to love myself.

Learning how to love and care for myself is one of the greatest gifts. I’m still in this process and it’s not always easy but I love it. I love that I get to discover more ways to accept and love and care for myself.

My mother could not give me the love I desired because she had not yet discovered that love and caring for herself. So how could she give me something she did not have?