Some of you can relate to this. The constant assessing of the mind. How am I doing? Did I do or say that correctly? Is it good enough? The comparing with other people. Or worrying about what people think. Second-guessing. Doubting. On and on it goes. That’s what mine can sound like. Yours may have its own default trajectory.
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I’ve always had this gift (curse?) of making something small and enlarging it, expanding on it, embellishing it. Stretching it for miles and miles.
I did this with situations that were painful for me. Creating all kinds of fear scenarios. All kinds of stories. Rolling them around in my fearful worried head. Hanging onto it for as long as I can. What used to seem like a bad habit, I’ve made it into a gift now. I’m now making mountains out of what feels good. Taking tiny beautiful moments and pulling whole universes out of them. Dear Darkness, I’ve known you for so long, for long enough now. Long enough to realize that maybe you are not the enemy that I thought you were. I may have misunderstood you...completely misunderstood you. I think I got you all wrong. And I’m also tired. I’m tired of the war between us. I am no longer going to try - to try to fix you up and alter you, to try to make you bright and pretty. |
Author: Leela Haris ~ Intuition
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