How To Spot A Manipulator

How To Tell When Someone Is Lying To You

Primary Traits Of An Energy Vampire

10 Signs You Are Dealing With A Psychopath
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How To Spot A Manipulator

I’ve seen a great deal of articles with titles like these. I can see how this kind of information may be an initial eye opener and a helpful first step.

But here is how I’ve learned to discern these things.

By looking at how I’VE manipulated. Or how I still manipulate.

How do I shape myself in a certain way to get what I want from people?

What do I do to get...

• Approval 
• Validation
• Attention & Love
• Sympathy
• Money 
• Opportunity
• A Favor

When am I inauthentic out of fear?
Fear of...

• Making a Mistake
• Being Alone
• Judgment
• Rejection
• Failure
• Going Broke

Where in my life do I keep my true agenda hidden? And why?

Maybe this doesn’t sound like much fun. But actually, this kind of raw self-honesty, while it can feel pretty rough in the moment, has beautiful and amazing effects for us over time. It has for me and I see the same in so many of my clients and friends who practice this.

Because of this my intuition has skyrocketed and still continues to grow. I have MUCH less fear and hesitation towards others and the world outside of me because I have gained a sense of trust in my inner compass.

And it gives me an intimacy with my inner world. If I don't know where I'm coming from how can I make better decisions and create a better situation? How can I grow from life if I don't tell myself the truth? And if I don't tell myself the truth how can I expect others to be honest and transparent with me?

​This intimate connection with myself is also so nourishing as well as empowering and liberating.

​See there is this magical dance always happening, an interplay between our inner and our outer world.
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The ability to see what's under the surface OUT THERE is connected with the ability to see what's under the surface IN HERE.

​And most of all, whatever I'm seeing in others, it can be seen with much more compassion and understanding 

PS:

• Nothing of course is wrong with wanting money or a favor etc. It's seeing how we go about getting these things. If we are honest and clear, even if someone is temporarily offended or doesn't like it, we are in our integrity. Integrity is also allowing other people the freedom to make their own choice (they are free to say no to us or not give us what we want).
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• Compassion does not mean enabling harmful behavior nor does it mean always being “nice”. That inner state of compassion can actually result in a fiery and clear outer No when needed. Compassion in this case also means coming out of the bad guy / good guy mentality that keeps us separate and dis-empowered.
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• Being inauthentic out of fear/hidden agenda is different than making a conscious choice about what to reveal about ourselves. It's intelligent to check in with our gut about these things and to honor our inner boundaries.

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