A Letter to Men

Dear Men,

Thank you for all your strength. For all the times you had to go into battle and face harm and even death. For all the hard work you have done under the pressure to provide and to protect.

For thousands of lifetimes, you have had to be the strong one. The one who knew all the answers. The one who took charge. Who fixed it all. Who could never show weakness. You have had to stay on guard for so long.

I know it takes time for the armor to come off. It’s not fair to expect you to suddenly rip it all off at once. It will come off when you are ready. You decide.

I know these are confusing times for you. First, you had to carry the job of being the bigger sex. Now there are messages out there telling you to make yourself small and be obedient. That it's wrong to be powerful.

You are seen as both, God and the Devil.

It's not just women. You too have also been manipulated and used. Projected upon. You experience deep pain and fear too.

Personally, I disagree that it’s your job to fix “patriarchy”. 

I also know you have been shamed for your sexual desire and yet told it makes you a "real man”.

You feel pressure to perform and know what to do, without any guidance. Unrealistic expectations that no human could satisfy, much less experience love.

Vulnerability is a challenge for me. For you, that challenge is multiplied, many times over.

I think it’s so perfect and beautiful to be a woman. And it's so perfect and beautiful that you are a man.

I don't want us to be the same or to always agree or see life the same way. How boring would that be?

Thank you men. For teaching me to be compassionate and understanding. Thank you men for pushing me to find my strength and independence. To take responsibility for my own thoughts and feelings. And my boundaries. Most of all thank you for teaching me that my choices are my own.

I know the moments of power struggles and those little battles will still happen. But even when it's chaotic and messy, deep down I still remain so grateful for all of it. So grateful for you being you.

I have seen so clearly that we were never meant to save each other and satisfy each other's expectations. But instead to help know and love ourselves. And share our self-knowledge, presence, and love with each other.

I love our dance of interdependence.

Dear Men, you are essential. Essential to everything.

You are one half of this earthly experience. You are one half of me. I'm so glad you exist!

To all men, I just simply love you.

**This one felt too personal to use a stock image for. So I dug out some old photographs that I took and processed a long time ago in a college photography class. The model is my then-boyfriend. Back then I thought being naked was all it took to be intimate.