Recently I was struggling with my mind and was experiencing exhaustion. I could barely focus on anything longer than a few minutes and the exhaustion felt deep and existential.
My thoughts were around how it's all so meaningless. I'm too tired to care. What's the point? It's all so meaningless. So much suffering (mine and others). So many lifetimes of seeking, of trying and what has it done? Nothing. I have nothing to show for any of it.
I'm used to going through darkness and rough patches and ups and downs (it's natural for all of us sincere seekers at different phases. The light gets lighter but the dark also gets darker).
But this time I thought I'd share since we are going through what I see as an unprecedented shift and time on this planet. In case it is of help to anyone.
But more than the difficulties, I want to also share the awareness that came to me this morning after my relentless mind finally surrendered it's need to know and be in control.
Out of the peaceful void I was resting in, this understanding came to me:
There is no controlling what is happening on this planet.
The dark will do what it does. The light will do what it does.
Our true being is beyond all of it. Humans are no longer in control over this planet. This is a good thing, existence is doing what needs to be done.
What is happening is not just beyond our control, it's also beyond our human comprehension. We can know bits and pieces. That's all. That's enough.
Certainty is an illusion, we never had it but are now much more aware of it. This is bringing up a lot of pain and suffering. But the suffering has always been there. We were more able to avoid this through having our identity and sense of self-centered importance be constantly affirmed through our busyness and attachments. This is all being exposed as false.
Nothing and no one outside of our mind is the real cause of our pain.
We can care for our well-being and for our loved ones. But we cannot choose who will stay and who will go. It's the choice of each Soul.
We are losing our identity as humans and joining the rest of the universe. The only way out is to transform the layers of separateness created by our ego and re-join the universe.
We are so much more than human, we are cosmic beings. ❤️
Leela Haris - Expanding Consciousness