Taking Yourself Off Autopilot

It can be easy to get swept away and to disconnect from what really matters. I’ve found that it’s not so important to count the times of disconnect. Feeling bad about it, well it just feels bad. But we can focus on and feel good about coming back and reconnecting.

I treat the coming back as a triumph (because it is).

Each coming back builds courage, resilience, and teaches me self-compassion.

I’m sharing 6 personal practices that work for me, 3 here and 3 more in my next writing. These have endured for me in connecting to my being, my body, and grounding myself. I’m sharing these specifically because they only take a moment and can be done anywhere, even in the middle of the most hectic of days.

1. Breath awareness.
This is the most important one. It’s not new or fancy. It’s so simple that we can overlook it. I’m always checking in with how my breathing is.

I’ve gotten really quick to notice if I’m holding my breath or breathing shallow.

I take slow and deliberate deep breaths throughout my day. I watch the breath go down to the bottom of my belly. I watch the breath leave. Making this simple thing a habit I have noticed a change in my energy level (Suppression is draining).

I use this breath awareness with the rest of these tips and anything else i’m doing.

Not breathing fully is a way we numb ourselves. Holding our breath suppresses whatever is going on inside of us. Whatever discomfort is arising gets pushed down and stagnates our energy. When we breathe fully it allows our emotions and inner experience to be processed and lived. Then it doesn’t need to hang out so long.

2. I insert moments of silent presence in conversation.
While listening my intention is to be present and feel and sense.  I notice when I’m thinking of what to say or mentally making conclusions or anything else happening within. No need to judge myself. Just notice. And if I do judge myself, I just notice that too.

Before responding to someone I give myself a moment of silence. I feel the words I’m saying. I explore how it feels in my body as I am speaking.

3. When feeling triggered or emotionally charged I silently ‘note it’ to myself.
Some examples:
“Overwhelmed”
“Anger”
“Fear”
“Confused”
“Excitement”
“Sadness”
“Craving”
“Obsessing”

I Keep the noting simple. It’s not about figuring anything out, it’s about accepting and allowing. Not denying, trying to change or pushing away what is happening in the moment.  

When rooted in acceptance I can then feel my feelings. I also become alert and observe my inner state, emotions, and thoughts. My energy is freed up because I’m not fighting anything.

And from that place I can make a conscious choice, and take action if needed

There is this multi-faceted, ever-changing, colorful world within us, we just need to hold loving space for ourselves to know and appreciate it.

There are as many ways to deepen self-intimacy as there are people. Whatever you choose, I hope this encourages you to keep coming back.

It’s worth it.

Click here to read part 2 of this blog.