Feelings of anger and frustration came up for me this week. Yet also heaviness and resistance at the thought of facing and exploring these feelings. The anger and frustration was triggered by recent world and U.S. events.
Ugh, it’s too much, I just wanted to numb it all and go to sleep.
But I knew I needed to work with these feelings.
I started expressing it and the feelings of anger and frustration grew stronger and just kept coming, over and over. It felt endless as I traveled through this anger. I kept saying “I hate this situation!” and “I hate being here!”. Resistance and tiredness still in my body as I traveled back through many lifetimes. I felt acute frustration with this f***ing broken-record of experience on this planet: The same manipulation, the same darkness, the same hypnosis that uses fear to control people.
At times I would break into tears of sadness and helplessness.
I kept going knowing I was releasing all this from the cells in my body. I needed to express for all the times I felt these things but pushed it down.
Some of the anger was at myself from participating in this darkness. Some of it was from being forced to censor myself. At other times anger at being severely punished for standing out. Further memories came at being publicly punished and humiliated and used as an example to instill fear in others.
GRRRRR. It felt like this primal Tiger in me that just kept growling, and roaring, and wanting to rip everything up!
But then a deeper experience of this primal energy came and this part did not feel like a wound. I was now accessing tremendous power. This anger was proof that I am alive. Proof that I know what doesn’t feel right. Proof that I know the difference between a lie and the truth.
The tiredness and heaviness was released and I felt energized and awake.
Then this primal power roar shifted again and became even bigger. Now it was like tidal waves moving through me! I allowed it to flow and it felt like a delicious and loving fire burning through and lighting up my body. Yet it also extended far beyond my body and personal self.
I then realized something: This is not mine. This is the collective.
But then the question came to me: Why do I need to feel and know about this collective expression of anger and power? What’s the point?
The answer: To voice and share it.
Many may be feeling this but stuffing it down, misunderstanding it, moralizing it and judging it. So that is why I am to share this.
But then more came.
An incredible vision.
It filled me with awe and tears of joy started to flow.
I saw the masses in unison saying “NO MORE”. All of humanity raising our fists in the air. This powerful collective energy surged through all beings and the entire planet. This powerful “NO MORE” did not feel violent, it did not feel thirsty for revenge, it did not feel divisive, projective or harmful. It felt AMAZING!
It felt like
It felt like OUR HEARTS
It felt like OUR POWER
It felt like OUR LOVE
It felt like all of us being vehicles for LIGHT
The light in us seemed to me to be saying:
WE ARE DONE NOW WITH THIS
WE ARE DONE WITH YOUR ENDLESS WARS.
WE ARE DONE FIGHTING AMONGST EACH OTHER.
WE ARE DONE COMPETING WITH EACH OTHER.
WE ARE DONE HARMING EACH OTHER.
WE ARE DONE LETTING OUR CHILDREN BE ABUSED AND INDOCTRINATED.
We are now ready to protect LIFE.
OUR RIGHTS -
TO LIVE FULLY
TO BE ABUNDANT
TO BE GIFTED AND POWERFUL AND HONEST AND LOVING
WE ARE NOT PLAYING YOUR GAME ANYMORE.
WE SEE THROUGH IT NOW
So who are we shouting all this to?
A small group of elite but hidden people who control and hoard this planet’s resources. They feed not just off accumulating money and false power, they feed off our fear and trauma and suffering.
They intentionally create wars just to feed their appetites. Not just military war between countries though, they also intentionally fuel race and class wars and division among us. They love it when we hate each other. They love it when we fear each other and compete. They love it when we feel helpless and need someone to save us.
They feed off it all like hungry vampires and zombies. They spread their vampiric ways to humanity so that we all think we are broken, wrong, limited, and sinful.
They promote ideas of scarcity while hoarding.
But what came to me is that the scarcity isn’t real and that this planet has plenty for all of us to live happy and abundant and fulfilling lives.
In this vision we shout this “NO MORE” not just in solidarity against the elite darkness, but also, or maybe more importantly, as a collective DECISION.
As an energetic unveiling into a new paradigm of Unity. Out of realizing that our differences do not need to be reason for war and suffering.
We are all citizens of Earth and the Universe, we all belong here. Every race and ethnicity brings wisdom. Every path to the divine has its purpose and contribution. Every way of life has a learning for the soul that gravitates to it.
This kind of Unity that I envision though does not ask us to fit in and compromise our deeper truths and our individuality. It does not censor us or require us to be homogeneous. In fact I envision a very colorful and diverse magical world where we can all shine in our uniqueness.
There are different ideas of how to best be together in an organized society though (or not organized if that’s what you feel is best). I see us forming smaller groups to live the way we want. These smaller groups are not created out of separation though and do not exist in opposition to each other. They exist to bring about creativity and human potential. There is no competition between the groups, only mutual respect even though we see things differently. No one imposes their ideas onto others or needs to compete for resources.
The groups are created so that each person has a chance to honor themselves and live in the way they feel most in alignment with. People are free to visit and come and go among the groups which will be scattered all across our beautiful planet.
The groups will provide an opportunity for souls to come here and joyfully learn according to what they need to experience to continue evolving in their journey on Earth and through the Universe.
But this new paradigm will not include violence, control, or repressive right/wrong beliefs. The Souls that need to learn through that kind of thing will have to go elsewhere.
Many people think this vision of a new world I describe is impossible because they think humans are inherently dumb, broken, flawed, greedy, and violent. I think that with time we will come to realize this as a limiting belief of the past that we’ve been hypnotized with and has very little to do with our true nature, which is love. I think this will be seen more and more when light overtakes darkness on this planet.
I don’t know when or how this will come about. But I feel excited at all the possibilities!
For now, we each can heal our history and continue evolving and discover this in our own hearts and lives.
I’ve discovered something. I measured the size of the heart and it is the same size as the universe.
It is that big! It can open that much! It can vibrate out to the edge of ALL that is.
This has been an extraordinary discovery for me.
And another discovery: I've often felt the heart to be warm and sweet - yet there is something else.
The heart is wild. SO WILD.
I am not speaking of the idea of the heart in our mind. I am speaking about that place in your chest. That very physical place that beats inside you. That pumps and cleanses life through you. You feel it don't you? You can put your hand there now as you read and feel these words. ❤️
It is wild because of how little it knows. How little it knows of how to behave. Of that it is not supposed to love big or hurt big. It doesn’t know of such a thing as "too far". Of how and who it should be allowed to love. It doesn't know about should and shouldn't. It doesn't know that you are different from me. It doesn't know we are not supposed to love each other. It does not know the labels we hide under or put on each other. It doesn't know that I'm "here" and you are over "there".
It doesn't have those ideas. The heart isn't smart in that way. Thank god for you foolish heart. Thank God because God IS a foolish heart.
But the heart does know.
The heart knows when it is time to open. The heart knows who to open to. When to laugh. When to cry. And when to softly close and wait. Wait for the warmth she needs. The warmth she deserves. She finds that she can keep herself warm.
The heart also breaks.
The grief. The pain. Loss. Attachments we want to grip onto but still get torn from us.
The hurt from the stab of a cruel word. The hurt of being turned away "Your love is not allowed here. Be serious. Be realistic."
The heart breaking open..
Breaking us open to life.
And then the sadness from the disconnect.
As I feel layers of armor melt from me. As I remove more clothes and coverings. As I feel more ecstatic, more raw, and naked, and in moments this pulsating at the edge of an unknown forest: I see a world that might be moving the opposite way.
Questions come to me: Is this going to be permanent? This way of not getting physically close to another? Bodies hugging in public becoming rare? Is it going to be a thing now to minimize exposure of mouth and nose and obscuring the face? To not breathe in too much oxygen? Will these things become another “too risky”? Too dangerous? Or even dirty and wrong?
Are we to sanitize all of it? All the time?
Is this how it is now?
And something inside cries out - “please don't. Please world. Don't go that way!”
It hurts to see this and feel this.
Then things settle and this heart calmly says: Well okay world you will do what you do and I don't think it's in me to fight you, but I want you to know something - If you decide to go that way. I will not be going with you. I will find and discover another world.
I don't wanna sanitize this. The heart wants to stay wild.
Leela Haris - Expanding Consciousness