I’ve always had this gift (curse?) of making something small and enlarging it, expanding on it, embellishing it. Stretching it for miles and miles.
I did this with situations that were painful for me. Creating all kinds of fear scenarios. All kinds of stories. Rolling them around in my fearful worried head. Hanging onto it for as long as I can. What used to seem like a bad habit, I’ve made it into a gift now. I’m now making mountains out of what feels good. Taking tiny beautiful moments and pulling whole universes out of them. The way the air feels on my skin. The feeling of the floor I’m sitting on as I write this. How it feels to hold the pen I’m writing with. The textural sounds that silence makes. The sound of the heated air coming out of the vents. When I wash dishes, the texture of the plate, the way the water caresses my hand. I collect these moments. As if they are shiny gold pieces and the brightest ruby and shimmering emerald stones. Treasures often found after digging through the mud. And. The more ordinary the better. And it’s not some grandiose noble idea on how present I'm being. It’s just noticing that some things feel really good. If I let them. If I give myself permission to indulge it as much as I want. Letting myself swim in it. Letting life in. It’s all so incredibly alive. So much so, that sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever exploded from the hugeness of it all. And the world... well so much is happening isn’t it? But I keep coming back. Back to *here*. I’m sharing this especially for those of you who have a sense that you are here to help. How easy it is to confuse helping with carrying the world on our shoulders. Taking on the suffering of others. But really, it’s only you that you need to save. In that saving you recover your true self. And in letting yourself be alive as who you are, it creates powerful ripples. Those ripples travel to the places they are most needed. And without our effort they do exactly what needs to be done. To me this is what it means to be of service. Being in service to our aliveness. Do you feel it? How the world is just aching for aliveness? Every moment you gift yourself soulful pleasure, you gift it to the entire planet. Yes, all of humanity but also our beloved Earth herself. In my personal connection with our momma Earth I've noticed she doesn’t seem to care so much about my carbon footprint or joining a cause in her name. She is not interested in being saved. In my ecstasy I can even hear her sigh sometimes… as if to say “Ah yes, that! right there! yes, thank you!”. So you see? Our work doesn't always have to feel like work. We are just growing our beautiful inner swirly and pulsing light and allowing it to shine itself brightly. Yours in shiny ecstatic light, Leela PS. This opening to ecstatic feel goodness, yes it also can bring moments of agony as well. We start feeling the entire spectrum of our inner landscape. The agony has its own uncomfortable and strange richness and beauty. I wrote about the relationship between Agony and Ecstasy here
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We can only go so far talking about our experience. We can only go so far using symbols and archetypes and representations of our inner world. At some point it becomes clear. After turning over every stone there is to look under, it is time to enter your experience directly. To turn deeply inward. To come into your body. Setting aside the ideas and assumptions. Including the “spiritual” ones. Especially the “spiritual” ones. To invite what is deeply real for you. No longer denying or burying any part of you. My healing sessions cannot improve who you are. Because you don’t need improving or fixing. That is part of the conditioning. Sometimes we think we are helping to resolve something but we are actually acting from the problem itself. You are already beautiful. Already wise. Already strong. Compassionate. The list goes on and on. All the good stuff. It’s already in there. It’s just buried under so much *stuff*. And the *stuff* is hidden from your cognitive mind. We carry deeply embedded beliefs in our unconscious that are formed through life experiences, often in early childhood. Since these beliefs are repressed they try to get our attention through physical issues, emotional upheaval, traumatic life circumstances, and self-sabotaging patterns that persist despite treatments and therapies. Sometimes there is just this persistent nagging feeling that something is missing. You don’t have to struggle through your life. Look for the messages existence has for you. Find the treasure hidden in the mud. It’s there. The more directly you work with your unconscious the less suffering and struggle you have to go through. The Dalian Method (DM) takes you into what has been repressed and de-programs you from the conditionings that stand between you and your embodied knowing. And the fixing and improving does happen as a surprising and spontaneous side effect. It just won't come at the cost of your Joy. It will come as a byproduct of it. |
AuthorLeela Haris ~ E x p a n d i n g Consciousness Archives
July 2019
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